“When someone asks, ‘Tell me about yourself,’ my instinctive response is always the same: ‘I’m a mom. A mom to twin boys.’ But sometimes, in the quiet moments after the question is asked and answered, I find myself pondering why that identity comes to the forefront.
Is ‘mom’ all that defines me now?
I remember a time when my identity was tied to different aspirations. Before motherhood, my life was a map with a clear destination – the corporate world. I had visions of a future framed by the prestigious corner office, the tangible symbol of success and hard work.
Days filled with important business meetings, power suits, and public accolades. That world, with its rhythm and demands, was where I thought I would find my ultimate fulfillment.
But life, in its unpredictable grace, took an unexpected turn. I found myself stepping into a different realm, one where boardrooms and business deals were replaced by the kitchen and the playroom.
In this new world, my daily agenda was no longer dictated by meetings and deadlines, but by meal times, playdates, and bedtime stories.
It felt like a detour, a step away from the path I had meticulously planned for myself.
In the beginning, this shift was disorienting. I grappled with the loss of my professional identity and the sense of purpose it gave me. I mourned the career milestones I might never achieve. There were days I looked in the mirror and hardly recognized the woman staring back at me.
Yet, as time went on, this new role started to reveal dimensions of myself I had never known. I discovered reservoirs of patience I didn’t know I possessed. I found creativity in making meals, in turning bedtime stories into grand adventures.
I learned the intricate art of negotiation, the delicate balance of discipline and love, and the profound depth of emotional resilience.
But the transformation went deeper. In the eyes of my children, I saw reflections of a person I was still learning to know – not just as their mother, but as a human being with dreams, fears, and a heart full of love and aspirations.
I began to see success not just in career achievements, but in the laughter and joy that filled our home. The small victories – a successfully soothed nightmare, a resolved sibling squabble, a moment of quiet connection – these became the milestones of my new journey.
And yet, the question remains: Beyond being a mom, who am I? This journey of self-discovery didn’t end when I first held my children. It evolved, taking me along a path of introspection and growth. I’ve come to realize that being a mom is an integral part of me, but it’s not the entirety of my story.
There are still days when the woman who yearned for the corner office emerges. She reminds me of the ambitions I once held, the drive and passion for professional success. And I listen to her, acknowledging her dreams, knowing they are a part of the tapestry of my being.
Now, I stand at a crossroad, embracing the multifaceted person I have become. I am a mother, a nurturer, a guide, and a protector.
But I am also a dreamer, a creator, a thinker, and a seeker. I hold within me the aspirations of the career woman I once sought to be, and the loving heart of the mother I am.
The journey ahead is not just about finding a balance between these identities, but about weaving them together into a life that is rich, fulfilling, and authentically mine.
So, when I’m asked to tell about myself, I start with ‘I’m a mom.’ But there’s so much more. I’m on a voyage of rediscovery, finding pieces of myself in the everyday moments, in the challenges and triumphs of single motherhood, in the dreams I still dare to dream.
I am the head of my household, a role I embrace with pride and love, but it is just one of the many chapters in my ongoing story.
Jan 10, 2024
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