Single motherhood






Hi, I'm a Kenyan-born, Colorado-based single mom to twins Hodari and Milambu. I turned the challenges of single motherhood into a thriving YouTube community and blog. Here, I offer support and practical advice on parenting, lifestyle, and more. Let's navigate life's complexities together!


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single motherhood





Yes, you can be a successful single mom.

You aren’t defined by your situation. Being a single mom doesn’t mean that you now have to abandon all your goals, hopes, and dreams and settle for a life of constant struggle.

There have been many single moms who have overcome their situations and gone on to be millionaires, CEOs, and business owners. They did this by letting go of negative mental blocks that you may be embracing.

Even if you don’t have high ambitions for yourself, it is beneficial for your kids for you to let go of limiting mindsets that do not serve you and do not help you be a better parent.

8 Mental Shifts You Must Make To Be A Successful Single Mom

1. Stop Trying To Do It All

A wave is no less free because the current helps it along.

― Marty Rubin

You have to learn to ask for help. Whether it’s help from the government, your family and friends, or a cleaning company to tackle the messy house.

Asking for help doesn’t mean you are weak, it means that you recognize your limitations and are willing to accept help in order to get better.

2. Stop Complaining

What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.

Maya Angelou

Complaining about your life will not change your life. The only way to make a change is to adopt habits and behaviors that will move you forward.

If you are struggling in a certain area of your life, look for ways to improve in that area, don’t sit down and complain about how bad it is.

3. Let Go Of A Defeated Mindset

I am facing a challenge, I am not facing defeat. Remember this.

– Nikki Rowe

With all the challenges that we face as single moms, it may be easier to develop a defeated mindset that dwells on the negative. It’s easy to feel sorry for ourselves when we encounter challenges and face difficulties in our daily lives but it’s important not to have a defeated mentality.

4. Stop Being A Victim

Abandon the idea that you will forever be the victim of the things that have happened to you. Choose to be a victor.

Seth Adam Smith

No matter how you found yourself in this situation, in order for you to succeed, you have to stop viewing yourself as a victim and holding pity parties for yourself.

Victim mentality will not help you progress but rather, it will keep you in the same situation you are in.

5. Stop Comparing Yourself

Don’t compare yourself to others. There’s no comparison between the sun and the moon. They shine when it’s their time.

– Unknown

It is easy to look at others who seem to have an easier life than you and wish you had their life. As a single mom, you may envy married moms who have a partner or you may envy those who don’t have children because of the challenges you’ve faced.

The truth is you don’t know the challenges married moms face and just because the grass is greener on the other side doesn’t mean it’s being watered well–it might even be fake grass for all you know!

Be content in your singlehood and focus on watering your own grass instead of looking at other peoples’ yards.

6. Don’t Stop Improving

If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.

Milton Berle

Look for opportunities to grow and improve. You can learn a new language or pursue a new business venture or take a course to help you develop new skills.

Don’t stay in the same place you’ve always been. Take the time to challenge yourself and learn new things.

7. Stop Thinking That Your Situation Will Never Change

“Every person has the power to change their fate if they are brave enough to fight for what they desire more than anything.”

– Stephanie Garber

Embracing a mindset that says, “this is how it’s always gonna be” stops you from exploring opportunities to be better.

It will keep you from seeking help or looking for ways to improve your situation.

Proper Mindset To Embrace:

My situation may be difficult right now but there will always be sunshine after the rain. I don’t know what life has for me but with God in control, I can trust that He will work things out for my good.

8. See Challenges As Opportunities For Growth

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

— Winston Churchill

You will not grow unless you stop seeing challenging situations in your life as opportunities for growth.

This has been so true for me while co-parenting with a narcissist.

I have had to reassess my thinking, especially in the times when I caught myself feeling sorry for myself and dwelling on guilt, worry, and regret, and neglecting the ways this situation has caused me to grow.

Not only has it helped me grow in my understanding of God and helped me develop a relationship with Him but it has built my character and helped me build skills that will be essential in the future.


If you are struggling in your situation as a single mom. Whether you are having difficulties with your ex or you’re struggling with your children, look at these situations as opportunities to grow. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, see the ways you are growing and improve the areas that are being challenged.

What mental shifts will you be making to become a more successful single mom?

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successful single mom

8 Mental Shifts You Must Make If You Want To Be A Successful Single Mom

successful single mom

Jul 4, 2022

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