Single motherhood






Hi, I'm a Kenyan-born, Colorado-based single mom to twins Hodari and Milambu. I turned the challenges of single motherhood into a thriving YouTube community and blog. Here, I offer support and practical advice on parenting, lifestyle, and more. Let's navigate life's complexities together!


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single motherhood





As a mother, there are few things more precious than the bond between you and your child. But when circumstances force you to be apart from them, whether it’s due to co-parenting arrangements or other circumstances, that bond can feel tenuous and fragile. The ache in your chest when you miss your child is palpable, and the yearning to connect with them can be overwhelming.

Being a single mother presents unique challenges when it comes to connecting with your child. Not only do you have to navigate the complexities of co-parenting or custody arrangements, but you also have to juggle the demands of work, household chores, and caring for your child on your own. The weight of responsibility can feel crushing, and the constant balancing act can leave you feeling drained and disconnected.

In addition to practical challenges, single mothers may also face emotional hurdles when it comes to connecting with their child. The stress and anxiety of managing everything on your own can take a toll on your mental health, leaving you feeling irritable, overwhelmed, or even depressed. These feelings can make it difficult to be present and engaged with your child, which can strain your relationship and make it even harder to build that vital connection.

Despite these challenges, however, there are ways to overcome them and create a deep, meaningful bond with your child. In the following paragraphs, we’ll explore some practical tips for building and maintaining that connection, even when distance and other obstacles stand in the way.

Connecting With Your Child

The Top Tips for Maintaining a Bond with Your Child When Co-Parenting

1. Schedule a regular phone or video calls

Even if you can’t be physically present with your child, technology allows you to stay in touch regularly. Plan scheduled phone or video calls with your child, and make them a priority. This is a great way to catch up on their day, share stories, and show them that you care. If your co-parent is blocking communication, make sure your kids know how much you love them before they go. Help them understand that they are always on your mind and you care about them even if they can’t talk to you while they’re away.

2. Prioritize Quality Time

In the midst of a busy schedule, it’s crucial to make quality time a priority. Create a schedule that allows for dedicated one-on-one time with your child. Engage in activities they enjoy, such as playing with their toys, going for walks or to the park, or cooking together. This undivided attention shows your child that they are important and loved.

3. Foster Open Communication

Maintaining open lines of communication is essential for building a strong connection with your child. Encourage your child to express their thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment or criticism. Listen attentively, validate their feelings, and respond with empathy. Creating a safe space for open dialogue helps your child feel heard and understood.

4. Create a special ritual

Whether it’s a bedtime story, a special recipe you cook together, or a game you play, creating a special ritual can help build a sense of connection between you and your child. It can be something you do every time you are together or something you do virtually.

5. Find common interests

Finding shared interests can be an excellent way to bond with your child. If your child loves art, consider taking virtual art classes together. If they enjoy sports, plan to attend their games, or play together at home.

6. Connect with your child’s interests

Take the time to learn about your child’s interests and hobbies. Ask questions and show genuine curiosity. If your child loves music, attend concerts or listen to their favorite songs together. If they enjoy cooking, take a cooking class or prepare a meal together. This can help you bond over shared passions and deepen your relationship.

Connecting With Your Child

7. Be present when you’re together

When spending time with your child, be fully present. Put away distractions such as your phone or work-related tasks. Show your child that they have your undivided attention. Engage in conversations, participate in activities, and make eye contact to convey your love and attentiveness.

RELATED: 10 Simple Gratitude Practices for Single Moms

8. Use positive reinforcement

Children respond well to positive reinforcement, so be sure to praise them when they do something well or make progress on a goal. Positive reinforcement can boost their self-esteem and create a sense of pride in their accomplishments.

9. Practice Active Listening

Active listening is a powerful tool for building connections. Be fully present when your child is speaking to you. Maintain eye contact, nod, and ask follow-up questions to show your genuine interest. By actively listening, you demonstrate that your child’s words and experiences matter to you.

10. Show Unconditional Love

Unconditional love is the cornerstone of a strong parent-child relationship. Let your child know that your love for them is unwavering, regardless of any circumstances. Celebrate their successes and support them through their failures. Your consistent love and acceptance help them develop a healthy sense of self-worth.

11. Plan outings and activities

Planning fun outings and activities can help create special memories and strengthen your relationship with your child. Whether it’s going to the park, seeing a movie, or taking a virtual museum tour, make sure to spend quality time together.

12. Stay involved in their school life

Staying involved in your child’s school life can help you understand their needs and challenges. Attend parent-teacher conferences, volunteer at school events, or help with homework when you can.

13. Share stories and memories

Sharing stories and memories of your own childhood or family can help your child feel connected to their family history. Share stories about your own childhood or family traditions, and ask your child about their favorite memories.

14. Show Physical Affection

Physical affection is vital in strengthening your bond with your child. Hugs, kisses, and gentle touches can convey love, support, and reassurance. Physical affection has been shown to reduce stress and promote emotional well-being in children.

RELATED: Breaking Free from Guilt and Regret: Empowering Tips for Single Moms

Final Words

As a single mom, the challenges of building a strong connection with your child can be daunting. However, the benefits of doing so are immeasurable, and can positively impact both your child’s emotional and mental well-being, as well as your own. The bond between you and your child can be a source of strength and comfort for both of you, and can help you navigate the ups and downs of life with greater resilience and grace.

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all solution to connecting with your child as a single mom. What works for one family may not work for another. However, by staying present, involved, and flexible, you can find ways to stay connected and involved in your child’s life, no matter what obstacles you may face. And most importantly, remember to show your child that they are loved and valued, every step of the way. With patience, persistence, and a lot of heart, you can create a strong, loving relationship with your child that will last a lifetime.

14 Practical Strategies For Connecting With Your Child As A Single Mom Co-parenting

Jul 14, 2023

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