Single motherhood






Hi, I'm a Kenyan-born, Colorado-based single mom to twins Hodari and Milambu. I turned the challenges of single motherhood into a thriving YouTube community and blog. Here, I offer support and practical advice on parenting, lifestyle, and more. Let's navigate life's complexities together!


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Every now and then, I catch myself daydreaming about something extraordinary – a co-parenting relationship that’s straight out of a storybook. As a single mom co-parenting with a challenging ex, this delightful reverie offers a much-needed escape from the reality of disagreements, misunderstandings, and court dates. In my mind’s eye, I envision a world where my ex and I have a positive co-parenting dynamic – one that’s rooted in mutual respect, collaboration, and unwavering support for our children.

And oh, the absence of drama is like a breath of fresh air, where we focus solely on our children’s happiness and growth, leaving all the big egos and past hurts in the rearview mirror.

In this daydream, we’re a force to be reckoned with, making joint decisions over casual coffee dates rather than courtrooms. It’s a world where we effortlessly collaborate, embracing new ideas like old friends tossing a ball back and forth. Our shared goal is simple but profound: to provide the best possible upbringing for our little ones.

Gone are the days of tense exchanges and passive-aggressive texts. Instead, we communicate openly and respectfully, always focused on our children’s happiness and well-being. Financial matters are no longer a point of contention, as we’ve set up joint bank accounts for our kids’ expenses, making it a breeze to cater to their needs without financial stress.

But alas, this dreamy co-parenting utopia hasn’t quite materialized in my reality yet. Still, it’s a vision that fills my heart with hope and determination. Even though our co-parenting journey has its challenges, I refuse to give up on the idea of a harmonious and supportive co-parenting relationship.

And so, as I navigate the ups and downs of co-parenting, I can’t help but wonder if this dream could someday become a beautiful reality. With an open heart, trusting God, a willingness to put aside our differences, and a shared commitment to our children’s happiness, perhaps we can turn this daydream into something truly magical.

Join me as we delve into the key elements that can transform co-parenting into an empowering, enriching journey for both parents and children alike. Together, let’s explore the power of mutual respect, open communication, collaboration, and consistency, as we strive to create a co-parenting dynamic that goes beyond our wildest dreams.


The Power Of Collaboration: 15 Steps To Successful Co-Parenting

1. Mutual Respect

In the co-parenting dynamic, mutual respect is essential. Treat your co-parent with kindness and empathy, recognizing their role in your child’s life. Show appreciation for their efforts and acknowledge their contributions. By fostering a respectful attitude, you create a positive environment that benefits everyone involved, especially your children.

2. No Room for Drama or Negativity

Leave the drama at the door! Co-parenting demands that we set aside personal conflicts or negative feelings and focus solely on our children’s well-being. By maintaining a drama-free zone, we create a safe and stable environment for our little ones to thrive. Remember, they deserve a childhood filled with love and positivity, free from the burden of adult issues.

RELATED: Toxic Co-Parent: 12 Warning Signs You Need To Look For

3. Putting Kids’ Needs First

Always remember that co-parenting is centered around your children’s well-being. Their needs and interests should guide your decisions and actions. Prioritize their emotional, physical,and developmental needs, and make choices that align with their best interests. By placing your children at the forefront of every decision, you create a nurturing and supportive environment that promotes their overall growth and happiness.


4. Open and Effective Communication between the Houses

Maintaining open lines of communication between households is vital for successful co-parenting. Regularly share important information about your child’s schedule, health, and achievements. Be responsive and respectful in your communications, actively listening to your co-parent’s concerns and addressing them in a timely manner. Effective communication helps build trust, fosters cooperation and ensures consistency in parenting approaches.

5. Collaboration and Consistency between Houses

Consistency is key in co-parenting. Strive for collaboration and establish common ground in terms of rules, discipline, and routines across both households. This consistent approach provides stability and a sense of security for your children, minimizing confusion and creating a cohesive parenting environment. Regularly discuss and align your parenting strategies to reinforce shared values and expectations.

6. Healthy Boundaries

Establishing and respecting healthy boundaries is crucial for maintaining a positive co-parenting relationship. Clearly communicate expectations and limitations while being open to compromise. By respecting each other’s boundaries, you create an environment that promotes respect, trust, and harmony.

RELATED: The Best Biblical Solutions for Handling Injustice in Co-parenting

7. Joint Bank Accounts for Kids’ Expenses

Establishing joint bank accounts specifically for your children’s expenses can streamline financial matters and ensure transparency. By pooling resources, you can share the financial responsibility of raising your children, including education, healthcare, extracurricular activities, and other essential needs. This collaborative approach promotes fairness, minimizes conflicts, and demonstrates a united front in prioritizing your children’s well-being.

8. Open Door for Kids to Visit Any Parent as They Wish

Create an open-door policy that allows your children to freely visit either parent whenever they desire. Encourage a sense of comfort and security by assuring them that both homes are their safe spaces. This flexibility fosters a strong bond between your children and both parents, promoting a healthy co-parenting dynamic.

9. Joint Participation in Key Events

Significant milestones and events in your children’s lives should be celebrated together whenever possible. Graduations, school plays, and important ceremonies are moments that your children will cherish forever. By jointly participating in these key events, you show your children that their achievements and milestones matter to both of you. It reinforces their sense of belonging and provides them with a loving support system.

10. Flexibility and Adaptability

Life is ever-changing, and flexibility is key to successful co-parenting. Embrace adaptability in schedules, routines, and parenting styles. Be willing to accommodate unexpected situations and support each other in times of need. Flexibility fosters cooperation and allows your children to navigate transitions smoothly.

RELATED: The Best Self-Care Practices While Co-Parenting With A Toxic Ex

11. Trust

Trust is the bedrock of any successful co-parenting relationship. Trust your co-parent’s judgment, decision-making, and ability to care for your children. Cultivate an environment of trust by consistently honoring your commitments, respecting boundaries, and communicating openly. When trust is established, you can build a strong foundation for co-parenting and ensure the well-being of your children.


12. Positive Conflict Resolution

Conflict is inevitable, but it’s how we handle it that matters. Embrace effective conflict resolution strategies, such as active listening, compromise, and finding common ground. By approaching conflicts with a positive mindset, you can prevent them from escalating and ensure a healthy co-parenting dynamic.

13. Understanding Each Other’s Roles in the Child’s Life

Recognize and respect the unique roles that each parent plays in your child’s life. Appreciate the value that both perspectives bring and acknowledge the importance of a well-rounded upbringing. By understanding and supporting each other’s parental roles, you create a strong foundation for your children’s growth.

14. Kids’ Birthdays Are Celebrated Together

Make your children’s special occasions truly memorable by celebrating birthdays and other important events together. By joining forces, you demonstrate to your children that their happiness is paramount and that both parents are committed to their well-being. These shared celebrations also help your children feel loved, valued, and supported by both parents.

15. 50/50 Schedules

Consider implementing a 50/50 schedule that allows equal time and involvement with both parents. This arrangement promotes fairness and provides ample opportunity for your children to bond with each parent. A balanced schedule fosters a sense of stability and creates lasting memories for your children.

RELATED: 40 Empowering Journaling Prompts for Healing and Growth While Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex

Wrapping Up…

In conclusion, navigating the co-parenting dynamic requires unwavering dedication and a focus on fostering a nurturing environment for our children’s growth. By prioritizing mutual respect, we lay the foundation for open and effective communication between households. We must let go of drama and negativity, instead embracing positivity and positive conflict resolution to create a harmonious atmosphere for our little ones.

Collaboration and consistency between homes play a vital role in providing stability and a sense of security for our children. With joint decision-making and 50/50 schedules, we ensure that both parents actively participate in their upbringing, acknowledging each other’s unique roles. By establishing healthy boundaries and being adaptable, we demonstrate the willingness to work together for the sake of our children’s happiness.

Through joint participation in key events, shared birthday celebrations, and an open-door policy, we show our children that we are always there for them, united in our love and support. Putting our children’s needs first and understanding the importance of their well-being, we create a co-parenting environment that fosters their emotional and physical growth. In this journey of co-parenting, let us remember that by working hand in hand, we can provide our children with a strong and loving foundation to flourish in life. Together, we can make a positive impact on their lives and shape a brighter future for the precious souls we call our own.

How to Build a Positive Co-Parenting Relationship: 15 Elements to Follow

positive co-parenting

Jul 4, 2023

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