Single motherhood






Hi, I'm a Kenyan-born, Colorado-based single mom to twins Hodari and Milambu. I turned the challenges of single motherhood into a thriving YouTube community and blog. Here, I offer support and practical advice on parenting, lifestyle, and more. Let's navigate life's complexities together!


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The holiday season is upon us, and it’s brimming with joy, celebration, and, let’s be honest, a fair bit of stress. You know the drill: decking the halls (and every other inch of the house), hunting for that perfect gift that screams “I know you better than Santa,” and mastering the art of a festive feast that could make Martha Stewart do a double-take. And let’s not forget wrangling the little elves (a.k.a. our adorable, sugar-fueled kids) while trying to sip on that much-needed cup of hot cocoa—extra marshmallows, please!

In the midst of this festive chaos, I’m here to share some effective and realistic ways to unwind and truly enjoy this season. So, grab a moment between your holiday tasks, maybe with that cup of cocoa or your favorite holiday drink in hand, and let’s explore some strategies to make this time of year as joyful and stress-free as possible. From practical tips to easy-to-implement ideas, I’ve got you covered for a more relaxed and enjoyable holiday experience. Let’s dive in!

20 Tips to Turn Holiday Chaos into Calm for Moms

1. Set Realistic Expectations

The key to a more relaxed holiday is to manage your expectations. Accepting that some things might not go as planned is vital. Instead of striving for an idealized version of the holidays, focus on what truly matters – spending quality time with your family. Remember, a simple but heartfelt celebration can be more meaningful than an extravagant one. Encourage your kids to understand the value of togetherness over material perfection.

2. Delegate and Ask for Help

You’re a superhero, but even superheroes need a sidekick sometimes. Involve your family and friends in holiday preparations. Assign tasks based on everyone’s strengths and preferences. Kids can be great helpers with decorations or setting the table. When you delegate, you not only lighten your load but also give others a sense of contribution and belonging. It’s a team effort, and everyone’s involvement makes the celebration even more special.

3. Schedule Downtime

Amid the festive rush, it’s crucial to carve out time for yourself. This could be a quiet morning with a book, an evening walk, or just sitting with a cup of tea. This ‘me time’ is not selfish; it’s essential for your mental and emotional well-being. It helps you recharge and be more present and joyful with your family. Remember, a relaxed mom makes for a happier holiday home.

RELATED: 30 Fall Self-Care Ideas: Take Time for You, Mom!

4. Stay Active

Physical activity is a proven stress buster. Incorporate fun activities that get the whole family moving. It could be as simple as a dance-off to your favorite holiday tunes or a brisk walk around the neighborhood to see the holiday lights. Staying active boosts your mood and energy levels, making the holiday activities more enjoyable.

5. Mindful Moments

Incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine can significantly reduce stress. It can be as simple as taking deep breaths for a few minutes or practicing gratitude. Mindfulness apps can guide you through short meditation or breathing exercises. These mindful moments help in staying grounded and calm amidst the holiday buzz.

6. Embrace Imperfection

Perfection is overrated, especially during the holidays. Embrace the quirks and mishaps. Maybe the cookies got a little burnt or the decorations aren’t symmetrical – it’s okay. These imperfections often lead to laughter and memorable stories. Teach your kids the beauty of imperfection and the joy of being in the moment.

7. Connect with Friends

Stay connected with your support network. A conversation with a friend or fellow mom can be incredibly uplifting. Share your experiences and laugh over the mishaps. Knowing that others are in the same boat can be comforting and reassuring.

8. Keep a Gratitude Journal

Maintaining a gratitude journal can shift your focus from stress to appreciation. Write down small joys and victories each day. This practice can significantly lift your mood and provide a more positive outlook on the busy days.

9. Limit Social Media

While social media can be a source of inspiration, it can also lead to unrealistic comparisons. Limit your time on these platforms during the holidays. Focus on creating your own memorable moments rather than scrolling through others’.

10. Creative Outlets

Engaging in creative activities can be a great stress reliever. Whether it’s baking a new recipe, crafting with your kids, or writing in your blog, these activities can be therapeutic. They also provide an opportunity to bond with your children and create holiday traditions.

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Ah, the age-old conundrum: What on earth do you get for the woman who has everything, or perhaps, the woman who is everything?

11. Plan Ahead

Planning ahead can significantly reduce last-minute stress. Create a to-do list and a timeline for your preparations. This organization can help you manage your tasks more efficiently, leaving you with more time to enjoy the season.

12. Remember the Reason for the Season

Remind yourself and your family of the true meaning of the holidays – love, kindness, and spending time with loved ones. This perspective can help keep the commercialization and material aspects in check, bringing more joy and less stress.

13. Sleep Well

Prioritize a good night’s sleep. Adequate rest is crucial for maintaining energy and a positive mood. Try to stick to a regular sleep schedule as much as possible, even with the holiday activities.

14. Indulge Wisely

Enjoy the festive treats but in moderation. Overindulgence can lead to physical discomfort and emotional stress. Savor the flavors and remember, it’s all about balance.

15. Find Joy in Giving

Involve your children in the process of giving. It could be choosing gifts for family members or participating in a charitable activity. This teaches them the value of generosity and brings happiness to others.

16. Holiday Music and Movies

Incorporate holiday music and movies into your family time. These can be great ways to relax and get into the festive spirit. A family movie night with holiday classics can be a delightful tradition.

17. Nature Therapy

Spending time outdoors is not just a break from the holiday rush; it’s a way to reconnect with the world around you. Nature’s tranquility has a way of putting things into perspective. Whether it’s a stroll through a snowy park, a hike in the nearby woods, or simply watching the stars on a clear night, these moments can be profoundly calming and inspiring.

Encourage your kids to join in – maybe collecting pine cones, observing winter birds, or just playing in the leaves or snow. This connection with nature can teach them about the beauty and simplicity of the world, providing a contrast to the commercialization often associated with the holidays.

18. Embrace Traditions (Or Create New Ones)

Traditions are the threads that weave the tapestry of our holiday experiences. They can be as simple as baking a family recipe, singing specific carols, or watching a favorite holiday movie together. If you don’t have established traditions, this is the perfect opportunity to start new ones that resonate with your family’s values and interests.

It could be a new game, a special way of decorating, or volunteering together. These traditions become the cherished memories that you and your children will look back on for years to come. They also help instill a sense of identity and belonging, creating a warm and familiar environment that’s eagerly anticipated each year.

19. Reflect and Reset

As the year comes to a close, it’s a great time to reflect on the experiences, challenges, and triumphs of the past twelve months. This reflection isn’t just about looking back; it’s about learning and growing from those experiences. Encourage your family to join in this process, perhaps sharing their own highlights and what they’ve learned. Then, look forward.

Set intentions or goals for the new year. These don’t have to be grand resolutions; even small aspirations or habits can make a significant impact. This process of reflecting and resetting is a powerful way to close the year with gratitude and start the new one with renewed purpose and optimism.

20. Self-Care Rituals

Never underestimate the power of self-care. A relaxing bath, a skincare routine, or some quiet time with a book can be incredibly soothing. These small acts of self-care can replenish your energy and improve your overall well-being.

RELATED: 100 Self-Care Ideas For Every Aspect Of Your Life

Wrapping Up…

As the last of the holiday lights dim and the festive decorations are tucked away, take a moment to reflect on the season just passed. Remember, the true success of the holidays isn’t measured by the flawlessness of your events or the grandeur of your gifts. It’s found in the laughter shared over a burnt pie, the warmth of a family movie night, and the quiet moments of connection amidst the chaos.

This season, by embracing each of these tips, you’ve not only created a more peaceful holiday for yourself but also set a wonderful example of balance and joy for your loved ones. As we look ahead, let’s carry these lessons into the new year and beyond, cherishing the simple moments and remembering that sometimes, amidst life’s hustle and bustle, our best move is to simply take a deep breath and enjoy the ride. Happy Holidays and here’s to a serene, joyful, and prosperous New Year!

20 Practical Tactics for Navigating Holiday Madness with Grace and Cheer

Dec 11, 2023

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