Single motherhood






Hi, I'm a Kenyan-born, Colorado-based single mom to twins Hodari and Milambu. I turned the challenges of single motherhood into a thriving YouTube community and blog. Here, I offer support and practical advice on parenting, lifestyle, and more. Let's navigate life's complexities together!


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single motherhood





In the soft glow of the morning sun, the kitchen stirs with energy. The tantalizing aroma of sizzling bacon wafts through the air, mingling with the rich scent of freshly brewed coffee. Amidst the clattering of dishes and the hum of daily routine, you begin the ritual of crafting a nourishing breakfast for your child(ren). Lost in the rhythm of the morning, it’s effortless to slip into the habit of tending to everyone else’s needs while unintentionally neglecting your own.

As the hours pass, fatigue and stress weave a heavy tapestry, weighing upon your shoulders. You catch yourself snapping at your child, overwhelmed and consumed by irritability. Deep down, you know you should steal a precious moment for yourself, but instead, you press on relentlessly, determined to accomplish all that lies before you.

This scenario is all too familiar for countless mothers, and it illustrates a profound truth: that self-neglect can give rise to self-criticism and feelings of inadequacy. Perhaps you find yourself caught in the trap of comparing your journey to that of seemingly flawless mothers, or maybe guilt gnaws at your heart for not being able to do more for your child. Whatever form these negative thoughts take, it is vital to recognize their encroachment and take decisive steps to counteract them. Allow these 14 insightful tips, inspired by the wisdom of the Bible, to guide you in prioritizing your own needs and embracing self-kindness:

How to Show Yourself Kindness and Grace as a Single Mom

1. Take time for self-care

Self-care is not selfish, and it’s an essential part of showing kindness to yourself. In Mark 6:31, Jesus tells his disciples to come away and rest for a while after a busy period of ministry. Just as Jesus recognized the importance of taking time for rest and renewal, we too should prioritize self-care. This can be anything from taking a bubble bath to reading a book or going for a walk.

Related: 30-Day Self-Care Challenge for Single Moms + Free Printable

2. Practice gratitude

Gratitude is a powerful tool for combatting negative thoughts and feelings. In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, we are told to give thanks in all circumstances. Even when things are tough, finding something to be grateful for can shift our focus and help us find joy in the present moment. Consider starting a gratitude journal or simply taking a moment each day to reflect on what you’re thankful for.

3. Set boundaries

As a single mom, it’s easy to feel like you have to do everything for everyone. But setting healthy boundaries is an important part of showing kindness to yourself. In Matthew 6:34, Jesus tells us not to worry about tomorrow, but to focus on today. Setting limits on what you can realistically do in a day can help you avoid burnout and prioritize your own needs.

4. Ask for help

You don’t have to do it all alone. In Galatians 6:2, we’re told to bear one another’s burdens. Don’t be afraid to reach out to friends, family, or your community for help when you need it. Whether it’s asking a friend to watch your child for a few hours or asking a coworker to take on a project, there’s no shame in admitting that you can’t do everything on your own.

5. Practice forgiveness

Forgiveness is a powerful act of kindness, both towards others and towards ourselves. In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus tells us that if we forgive others, our Heavenly Father will also forgive us. Holding onto resentment and bitterness can weigh us down and make it harder to show kindness to ourselves. Practice forgiveness towards those who have wronged you, and accept God’s forgiveness for your past mistakes.

6. Cultivate positive self-talk

The way we talk to ourselves can have a big impact on our mood and well-being. In Philippians 4:8, we’re told to focus on whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy. Instead of allowing negative self-talk to take hold, try to replace those thoughts with positive affirmations. Remind yourself of your strengths, accomplishments, and the good things in your life.

7. Find a supportive community

Surrounding yourself with people who uplift and encourage you is an important part of showing kindness to yourself. In Hebrews 10:24-25, we’re encouraged to spur one another on towards love and good deeds. Whether it’s a mom’s group, a church community, or simply a group of friends who understand the challenges of single parenthood, find people who support and uplift you.

Related: 7 Practical and Actionable Ways To Make Friends As A Single Mom

8. Embrace imperfection

As a mom, it’s easy to feel like you’re not doing enough or not doing things perfectly. But embracing imperfection is an important part of showing kindness to yourself. In 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, we’re told that God’s power is made perfect in our weakness. Recognize that you’re doing the best you can and that it’s okay to make mistakes and have flaws.

9. Take time for prayer and meditation

Taking a few moments each day to connect with God can be a powerful act of kindness towards yourself. In Psalm 46:10, we’re told to be still and know that He is God. This verse reminds us to slow down, quiet our minds, and focus on our relationship with Him.

When we take the time to pray and meditate, we’re acknowledging that we can’t do everything on our own and that we need God’s help and guidance. It’s also an opportunity to release our worries and concerns, knowing that God is in control and has a plan for our lives.

10. Find support

As a single mom, it can be easy to feel isolated and alone in your struggles. But the Bible reminds us that we were not meant to go through life alone. Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” It’s important to find support from friends, family, or a support group that can provide encouragement, advice, and a listening ear. Surrounding yourself with people who understand what you’re going through can help you feel less alone and more supported in your journey.

11. Take care of your physical health

It can be easy to neglect your physical health in the midst of everything else you have to do. However, the Bible reminds us that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) and that we are called to take care of them. This means getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, and making time for regular exercise. Taking care of your physical health can help you feel better both physically and mentally, leading to greater overall well-being.

12. Take time for rest and relaxation

It’s important to remember that rest is not a luxury – it’s a necessity. As a single mom, it can be difficult to find time for rest and relaxation, but it’s essential for your mental and emotional health. The Bible reminds us that even God rested on the seventh day (Genesis 2:2-3) and that we too need to take time to rest. Whether it’s taking a relaxing bath, reading a book, or simply sitting in silence, make sure to take some time each day for rest and relaxation.

13. Practice self-compassion

As a single mom, it’s easy to be hard on yourself and to feel like you’re not doing enough. However, the Bible reminds us that we are all imperfect and that God’s grace is sufficient for us (2 Corinthians 12:9). Practicing self-compassion means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would show to a friend. This means being patient with yourself, recognizing your strengths and weaknesses, and giving yourself grace when you fall short.

14. Seek God’s guidance

Finally, it’s important to remember that you are never alone. The Bible reminds us that God is always with us and that we can seek His guidance and wisdom in all things. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Taking time each day to pray, read the Bible, and seek God’s guidance can help provide you with the strength and wisdom you need to navigate the challenges of single motherhood.

Related: Unlocking Everyday Magic: 40 Ways to Romanticize Your Daily Life as a Mom

Final Thoughts

Being a single mom can be a tough and exhausting journey, but it’s crucial to remember that showing kindness to yourself is just as important as taking care of others. It’s easy to get caught up in the routine of daily life and forget to prioritize our own needs, but by taking intentional steps to show ourselves grace and kindness, we can improve our overall well-being and become better moms to our children.

The Bible offers many examples of self-care and kindness, reminding us that we are all loved and valued by God. By taking the time to rest, nourish our bodies, prioritize our mental health, and connect with God, we can cultivate a deeper sense of peace and fulfillment in our lives.

So, the next time you find yourself feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, remember that it’s okay to take a step back and show yourself some kindness. Whether it’s through a warm cup of tea, a relaxing bath, or a few moments of prayer, make it a priority to take care of yourself. By doing so, you’ll not only improve your own well-being but also become a better mom to your child.

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14 Simple Ways You Can Show Yourself Kindness Today


Jun 9, 2023

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