Single motherhood






Hi, I'm a Kenyan-born, Colorado-based single mom to twins Hodari and Milambu. I turned the challenges of single motherhood into a thriving YouTube community and blog. Here, I offer support and practical advice on parenting, lifestyle, and more. Let's navigate life's complexities together!


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Are you a single mom feeling the pressure to start dating again? Perhaps you long to escape your single status or desire a solid foundation for your children. It’s possible that you simply feel lonely and yearn for the company of a man. However, I urge you not to rush into dating or marriage. This phase of being single is valuable and should be cherished as an opportunity to deepen your relationship with God and discover more about yourself.

As a Christian single mom, I can empathize with your struggles, as I have faced my own desires and wrestled with loneliness. Many times, I wished for someone to share the burden of single motherhood. But I came to realize the importance of this season of singleness. It was only after becoming pregnant that I truly recognized the mistakes I had made in seeking fulfillment through relationships.

Now that I am single, I am in no hurry to enter another relationship, be it casual or serious. My focus lies in nurturing my connection with God, caring for my children, developing my business, growing my YouTube channel, and sharing my experiences through this blog.

Moreover, as a single Christian mom, my highest priority is following God’s path more than ever before. Before you consider dating, I believe it is crucial for you, as a Christian single mom, to take the following steps first.

What Christian Single Moms Should Do Before Dating Again

1. Put God First

If you are a Christian, then you know that the word commands us to seek God first: “But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” Matthew 6:33. I know for me I didn’t always seek God, especially in my relationships. I was more eager to please myself than I was to please God and that resulted in a lot of heartbreak and unnecessary pain.

God is very clear in His word that we shouldn’t participate in immoral sexual acts. Immoral sexual acts involve acts that occur outside the covenant of marriage between a man and a woman. When we do this, the bible says that we are sinning against our own bodies.

To put God first is to reject all unrighteousness and to follow His word. To be Spirit-led rather than led by the flesh. I thank God that he has delivered me from my sexual sins and immorality. If you are still struggling with sexual sin, repent and turn away from them.

If you plan on dating again as a Christian single mom, it’s important for you to allow God’s plan to take place rather than yours. So before you go looking for someone, look to God first. Seek Him diligently. Let Him show you how to love and allow yourself to be loved by Him first before seeking the love of a man.

I strongly believe that if we take the time to seek God, He will be found. And if it’s His will for marriage, then He will provide the right man who will guide you in the proper way and treat you the way you should be treated.

2. Heal From Your Past

Have you fully healed from your past? Have you forgiven the man who wronged you in the past? If you are still holding on to pain and bitterness from what happened to you in the past, then you aren’t ready to date again.

Jumping from relationship to relationship without fully healing creates more brokenness. So before you go into another relationship, heal. Seek professional help if you need it and dedicate the time to let go of any trauma that may be affecting you. Doing this will allow you to accept love from a free heart, not one that is in bondage to the past.

3. Understand Your Value

As Christians, we get our value and worth from God. As a single woman, your worth comes from knowing what God says about you. God says that you are unique(Psalm 139:13). God says that you are forgiven (Psalm 103:12 ). God says that you are loved (Jeremiah 31:3). God says that you are strong (Psalm 68:35). God says that you are His own (Isaiah 43:1). God says that you are beautiful (Psalm 139:14).

Don’t try to get your value from this world. Get your value from God’s word and what He says about you. When you know your value, you won’t settle for men who don’t treat you right or don’t value you. You won’t give your body or your time to just anyone so you can feel good for a few moments.

4. Focus on Yourself and Your Kids

I don’t believe there is any reason to rush into dating. This is a good time for you to focus on yourself and your kids. Being a single mom can be lonely at times but instead of running to the arms of any man who won’t have any respect for you, take the time to focus on yourself and your kids.

Do fun activities with them. Learn how to be a great parent. If your ex is involved in their life, find ways to work together with him so you can create a good partnership for the sake of your kids. Date yourself so you can know yourself better.

5. Learn To Enjoy Being Single

I have come to a place where I enjoy my singlehood. Like honestly. I am loving being single! This is because I realized that I wasted so much time on men who weren’t good for me that now after going through the worst relationship, I love this peace I have as a single woman.

I’m not stressing about a man or what he is doing out there. I don’t have time to wonder if he is going to call or when I’m going to see him again. I’m focusing on my self-care, being the best mom, and taking care of my responsibilities.

6. Learn To Be A Homemaker

While you wait for the perfect guy, learn to be a homemaker. Learn to cook, to care for your home, and your kids. This will be invaluable once the right gentleman comes along.

A God-fearing man will want a woman who can take care of the home, take care of herself, and take care of him and the kids. This is your time to practice those skills.

7. Be Patient

It is always good to wait on God’s timing. Learn to be patient in your single season. Don’t rush into another relationship just because you are lonely. Wait patiently but while you wait, work on you.

8. Work On Your Finances

Take the time to fix your credit, get rid of debt, make more income, and be financially stable. Don’t wait for a man to come and rescue you from your financial bondage.

This is the time to do what you can to fix your situation so that you won’t feel tempted to accept a man’s offer to date you just because he will help with the bills.

The right man, and I mean the RIGHT man, will respect you. He will value you and your children. He will not use or abuse you. His love for you and your kids will be unfathomable because he is a man of value and integrity.

9. Be Clear About Your Standards

Listen, just because you are a single mom and made mistakes before doesn’t mean that you can’t and shouldn’t expect to be with a good man.

Being a single mom isn’t a disability. It’s not a reason to lower your standards, nor is it a reason to settle for any man just because he is available or is willing to date you and the others won’t.

The right man, and I mean the RIGHT man, will respect you. He will value you and your children. He will not you or abuse you. His love for you and your kids will be unfathomable because he is a man of value and integrity. However, you won’t attract this man by settling. You won’t attract this man by sleeping around with any man who shows interest in you. So increase your standards and don’t back down for anyone.

There are a lot of single moms who are quick to settle because they want a father figure for their child or they are afraid that if they continue to be single, their child may be at a disadvantage. These reasons are not enough for you to shack up with just anybody.


Don’t rush into dating. If you are lonely or feel like you need someone’s company, find a good support system you can rely on. Don’t rush into the arms of another man. Allow yourself to heal from the past, get closer to God, and work on yourself while you are single. At the right time, the right man will find you.


9 Must Know Best Dating Advice For Christian Single Moms

christian single mom

Jun 25, 2022

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