Single motherhood






Hi, I'm a Kenyan-born, Colorado-based single mom to twins Hodari and Milambu. I turned the challenges of single motherhood into a thriving YouTube community and blog. Here, I offer support and practical advice on parenting, lifestyle, and more. Let's navigate life's complexities together!


more about me

single motherhood





New Year’s resolutions? How about New Year’s revolutions! As we flip our calendars to a fresh page, it’s not just about scribbling down a list of to-dos. Nope, this year, it’s about the to-don’ts. I’m talking about tossing out those old habits and hang-ups like last year’s tattered planner.

Gone are the days of navigating through mountains of laundry that could rival Everest, feeling a twinge of defeat with every unpaired sock. Let’s embrace mornings where the biggest decision isn’t a meticulously planned outfit, but choosing between an extra five minutes of sleep or a leisurely sip of that much-needed coffee. This is the year where unanswered emails don’t set the tone for our day and a messy countertop doesn’t dictate our self-worth.

It’s about stepping into a world where we celebrate the small victories – yes, even those days when everyone’s shoes miraculously match. Here’s to laughing in the face of those perfectly curated social media feeds while we juggle work calls with a toddler clinging to our legs. This is our year of embracing the chaos with a smile, transforming our should-haves into glad-I-didn’ts, and replacing our capes with something a bit more comfortable and a lot more us. Welcome to a journey of self-rediscovery, one un-matched sock at a time.

Embracing The New Year: 12 Things I Won’t Carry Into 2024

1. Perfectionism

Striving for perfection in parenting, work, and life is like chasing a mirage. You run towards it, but it keeps moving further away. I remember the time I tried to bake the perfect birthday cake and ended up with a kitchen that looked like a flour bomb exploded!

It’s moments like these that remind us perfection is not only exhausting but frankly, a bit boring. Embracing the beauty in chaos, the laughter in mistakes, leads to stories worth sharing. Let’s find joy in the progress, not just the outcome. Our kids don’t need a perfect parent; they need a happy one.

2. Guilt Over Self-Care

Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential. Yet, there’s this nagging guilt that creeps in every time we put ourselves first. It’s important to remember that taking care of ourselves is not taking away from our loved ones; it’s giving them the best version of us. So, next time, let’s enjoy a jog, or quiet cup of coffee. Our well-being is the foundation of our family’s happiness.

Read Posts on Self-care:

new year

3. Fear of Failure

The fear of failure can be like a shadow, always lurking. I remember the time I hesitated to start this blog, worried it wouldn’t be good enough. But what if we reframe failure as a stepping stone, not a stumbling block? Each misstep is a lesson, each wrong turn a new path discovered. By embracing risks, we open doors to opportunities we never knew existed. Let’s teach ourselves and our kids that it’s okay to fall, as long as we get back up.

4. Negative Self-Talk

We often don’t realize how harshly we speak to ourselves. If a friend spoke to us the way we sometimes talk to ourselves, they wouldn’t be our friend for long! Negative self-talk can chip away at our self-esteem, leaving us feeling unworthy and defeated. Let’s start changing the narrative. When the voice in your head starts to criticize, counter it with positivity. Remember, “I am doing my best, and that is enough.” Let’s be as kind to ourselves as we are to others.

RELATED: 14 Simple Ways You Can Show Yourself Kindness Today

5. The Need to Control Everything

Trying to control every aspect of life is like trying to catch the wind in your hands – impossible and exhausting. It’s like when I planned every minute of our family vacation, only to realize the best moments were the unplanned ones. Letting go doesn’t mean giving up; it means accepting that some things are beyond our control. The beauty of life often lies in its unpredictability. Embrace it.

6. Toxic Relationships

Toxic relationships can drain our energy and impact our well-being. I once had a friend who, under the guise of honesty, was constantly critical. Stepping away from that relationship was hard but necessary. Sometimes it’s hard to distance ourselves from toxic relationships when that person is someone we have to parent with. I am learning to not let the toxicity affect me.

Even though I can’t distance myself from this person, I can protect myself by setting boundaries and prioritizing my self care. It’s important to surround ourselves with people who uplift and support us. Healthy relationships should bring joy, not constant stress. Let’s choose our circle with care.

RELATED: The Trauma of Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex

new year

7. Clutter in the Home

Physical clutter often reflects our mental state. A cluttered space can lead to a cluttered mind. I learned this firsthand when I tackled the ever-growing mountain of ‘stuff’ in my home. Decluttering can be liberating. Start small: one drawer, one shelf. You’ll be surprised how much lighter you feel. An organized space brings an organized mind.

8. Comparing Myself to Others

In the era of social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel. Remember, comparison is the thief of joy. Instead of scrolling through someone else’s life, let’s invest that time in our own. Celebrate your victories, no matter how small. Gratitude turns what we have into enough.

RELATED: How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other Moms and Rediscover Joy

9. Holding onto Past Mistakes

I spent too much time reliveing past mistakes and dwelling on regret. Wishing I had done things differently and made better decisions that I didn’t progress much. Dwelling on past mistakes can keep us from moving forward. We’ve all had moments we’re not proud of. But holding onto that guilt serves no purpose. Let’s learn from our missteps and forgive ourselves. We are all works in progress.

10. The Myth of the ‘Perfect’ Mom

The ‘perfect’ mom does not exist. This myth pressures us to meet unrealistic standards. Embrace your unique parenting style; there’s no one-size-fits-all in motherhood. The real power lies in community and support, not in striving for perfection. Let’s celebrate our individuality as parents and find strength in our shared experiences. After all, it’s our quirks that make us, and our families, wonderfully unique.

new year

11. Neglecting Myself

In the hustle of day-to-day life, it’s easy to put our own needs on the back burner. We’re often so busy caring for others that we forget to care for ourselves. The whole of last year, I never got a pedicure or manicure. I let my hair go undone for far too long because I was busy taking care of everyone but myself.

But self-neglect doesn’t make us better parents; it leaves us drained and unable to give our best. It’s crucial to remember that caring for ourselves is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. Whether it’s taking time for a relaxing bath, reading a book, or just sitting in silence for a few minutes, these small acts of self-care replenish our energy and patience. Let’s make a commitment to not just survive, but to thrive by ensuring we’re well taken care of. Our well-being is the bedrock upon which our family’s happiness is built.

12. Trying to Do It All

The quest to do it all is like running on a treadmill that’s speeding up – you keep going faster but don’t really get anywhere. It’s the juggling act of parenting, working, managing a household, and trying to have a personal life.

I remember a day when I tried to tick off every item on my to-do list. By evening, I was exhausted, irritable, and no more fulfilled. We often equate being busy with being productive, but they’re not the same. It’s okay to ask for help, to delegate, and to leave some tasks undone.

Let’s prioritize what truly matters and give ourselves the grace to accept that doing our best does not mean doing it all. This year, let’s embrace the power of ‘no’ or ‘not now’, giving ourselves the permission to slow down and enjoy the journey, not just the destination.

RELATED: 30 Healthy Habits That Will Transform Your Year

Wrapping Up…

As we close the chapter on these ten (and one) transformative points, let’s remember that this journey isn’t about sudden, monumental changes. It’s about small, daily acts of letting go – letting go of perfection, of self-neglect, of the ghosts of past mistakes. It’s about embracing the perfectly flawed, wonderfully unique individuals we are.

This year, let’s choose to focus on what truly matters – our happiness, our health, our peace of mind. Each day is a fresh opportunity to shed a little more of what doesn’t serve us, to lighten our load, and to breathe a little easier. We’re not just letting go; we’re growing, evolving, becoming.

So here’s to a year of fewer “shoulds” and more “coulds,” less self-criticism, and more self-compassion. Here’s to a year where we embrace the joy in the messiness of life, where we find strength in our vulnerabilities, and where we recognize the extraordinary within the ordinary.

12 Things I’m Letting Go of This New Year

new year

Jan 6, 2024

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Thanks for subscribing to our newsletter!

30 Day Self-Care Challenge

free download!

It's time to prioritize you, mama! Dive into our 30-Day Self-Care Challenge, a tailor-made journey to fit your hectic life. 

@ FAITH MATINI 2021 All Rights Reserved


Faith Matini is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to

error: Content is protected !!